Common goal
When building relationships, the goal of the other should be as important as your own goal. Relationships are not sincere and authentic if they are solely based on self-interest.
Strong reciprocal relationships are the key to success
Relationships:
- Spread your good reputation.
- Offer protection and advice.
- Provide you with inside information.
- Help you work across boundaries.
- And help to generate breakthrough ideas.
In an interview for our book Managing Authentic Relationships, former member of the executive committee of ABN AMRO Bank, Rutger van Nouhuijs, who is well known for being the one who has guided the launch of several big and successful companies at the stock market, stated that he among others succeeded in beating the competition by offering long term personal attention. By getting to know his clients and finding out about their interests, desires and worries. By sending them information about developments that might interest them at crucial moments. By sitting down with them and travelling together. “To practice high quality relationship management demands discipline”, he said. “During all my years at the bank I’ve seen two professional partners or contacts per day, face to face. Creating meaningful relations, is about hunting and farming. The hunting can be pretty easy, but farming takes time, effort and, above all, attention. Both in good and in bad circumstances.”
Source: Managing Authentic Relationships, Amsterdam University Press (2019)
The nature of relationships – a few examples:
Trust
In the book ‘Managing Authentic Relationships’ Prof. Dr. René Foqué of Leuven University argues that trust has two sides:
- Functional confidence refers to reliability. It is about the belief that the other person’s actions and words are congruent.
- Moral trust refers to the integrity of a person or an organisation. It’s about trusting that the person or organisation acts in accordance with the common good: not merely for its own benefit.
Both functional confidence and moral trust are necessary to reach full trust. When one of both is missing, the trust relationship is incomplete.
Reciprocity
Building relationships means giving, without knowing when to get something in return. For relationships a starting point can be formulated, but the end result is always uncertain. Good relationships are reciprocal, but one never knows how long it takes before favours are returned.
Long-term focus
Organisations often do not start building relationships until the need is felt, but then it is too late, and people will have doubts about the sincerity of the intentions. When the need is felt, a network based on trust and reciprocity should already be in place.
Source: Managing Authentic Relationships, Amsterdam University Press (2019)
Keep on reading: What is relationship management, what is a network organisation?
This post is also available in: Dutch
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